Dear Morons,
it's been slightly more than half a year since our faithful moron Huiting last updated this blog. Why, I asked myself, why doesn't anyone update? As the months passed, my heart crumbled to dust, seeing the level of negligence all of you could sink to.
So, if you're either one of the Queen Morons (who abandoned this blog) or Naomi (who it shall be fun to kill), I shall be sending Huiling to your house to kill you shortly. In fact, she's probably behind you right now, holding her beloved saw.
All right, enough crap.
BREAKING NEWS #1
CHUA HUI LING And SEOW HUI TING Become Queen Morons.
I am pleased to announce that Chua Hui Ling and Seow Hui Ting have been made members of the League of Queen Morons. I feel this promotion has been long overdue, yet have been too lazy to bother to inform them, as of yet. But hell, if ZHANG can be a moron, our dear mass murderer and hyena can be Queens too.
So, I am pleased to inform you that Hui Ling is now Queen of Pain, while Hui Ting is Queen of Laughter.
This brings the total number of Queen Morons to 13, a highly auspicious number.
Congratulations!
BREAKING NEWS #2
Has ESTHER TAY Turned Over A New Leaf?
As of today, Esther has successfully dumped her 8th boyfriend, bringing an end to her obsessive dumping spree which has taken place over the past week.
After drawing a lot of criticism when the public got to know that she was dating 15 guys at the same time (all, miraculously, from the same class at ACS Barker- which isn't very surprising given how dumb some of them can be), Esther decided to give up her life of promiscuity.
"It was initially heartwrenching," she drawls, reclining on a sofa in her living room. "But I finally singled out the guys I wanted to dump. First, I dumped three guys cuz I didn't even know their names. Then, I ranked the remaining 12 according to their degree of hotness, and dumped the last 5 on the list."
Esther now has a much more emotionally fulfilling life, with only 7 boyfriends, a tremendous improvement from the previous records of her love life.
"It's like, one for every day of the week...you know?" she asks, snapping her fingers for emphasis. I haven't dated this few guys since I was like... 5."
Keep up the good work, Esther!
BREAKING NEWS #3
SARAH CHUA Taken To Woodbridge
When yours truly went to visit Sarah Chua at Woodbridge, she was in a hysterical state.
"I JUST DON'T WANT TO BLUSH ANYMORE!!" she screeched, grabbing my shirt. "IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR? HUH? HUH?"
Extricating myself from her grasp, I consoled her as much as I could.
You see, during a chemistry lesson a few days ago, Sarah- known as a "dear, dear child" to her Chem teachers, and a "horrible girl who calls me a cow" to her lit teachers- went into a maniacal state and poured copper sulphate all over her classmates' heads.
"If my face can't stop being red, atleast I can make your faces blue!" she reportedly yelled, while carrying out the heinous crime.
She threw her chemistry teacher out of the window, then began booking everyone in sight.
Sarah's condition has been improving rapidly though, since the staff at Woodbridge decided to shut her up in a room full of Red Indians (Native Americans) for 20 hours a day.
That's all for now,
Queen Rivali
8:11 PM
MORONS
Queen of All: Rivali
Queen of Fire: Sarah
Queen of Water: Nicole
Queen of Light: Daphne
Queen of Darkness: Amrit
Queen of Earth: Amanda
Queen of Air: Xing Yi
Queen of Life: Xiao Hui
Queen of Desire: Esther
Queen of Emotions: Shu Wei
Queen of Goodness: Zhang Hui
Queen of Laughter: Hui Ting
Queen of Pain: Hui Ling
+ many other morons :D
